As a mother, father or guardian of reading children, it is very likely that you are interested in encouraging your children to live with differences and promote an inclusive education, after all, diversity is knocking on our door every day.

Unlike the 70s and 80s, when people with disabilities were confined to their homes and lived almost exclusively with a small circle of close people, today we feel that there are more people with disabilities in the world than ever before. But this is just an impression, because these people have always been there, just locked up inside their homes.

It is important to always remember that this erroneous impression is motivated by the growing number of people who have fought to defend the rights of these citizens, and by the many efforts to allow them to live in society with greater autonomy. Today’s parents of atypical people are interested in enforcing the law of inclusion – and these children and adolescents are in schools. Your child will increasingly live in this “different” world.

Atypical people are on social media, in movies, in advertisements. But… how can we “pretend to be normal” when we were raised by a generation that didn’t have this experience?

How many with a disability did you spend time with as an adult during your school days? Chances are, if you have a family member with a disability, you were strongly discouraged from asking questions about his condition. Parents in the past were mortified if their child made a mistake. Limiting your child’s spontaneity is not a good way to help him learn to live with differences.

Therefore, in this article I will give you some tips on how to promote inclusion at home, follow until the end!

Tips for encouraging children to live with differences

Watch movies

The cinema is a great place to talk about diversity.
There are several films available on streaming channels whose characters have a wide range of disabilities. And this content can reach all audiences. Even the X-Men franchise has the character Professor Xavier , who is in a wheelchair (not even superheroes escape disabilities, right?!).

After watching, talk to your child about what they thought and what caught their attention. If they don’t mention the character’s disability, ask them if they noticed that the character has a disability. Ask your child if they know what a disability is and try to explain that this is just one of the characteristics of that person. As the child becomes more interested, you can talk more about the subject or you can even research it together on the internet. Don’t be afraid to ask difficult questions; be honest with your child: you don’t know everything. Show them your curiosity and do some research together. This can bring you closer to your little ones.

Contextualize with empathy

Another important point is to talk to the child about education and the historical moment of their generation. It is important to show that it has only been a short time since sidewalks were lowered, buses were adapted, and there was a priority queue. These changes (which are not enough to promote inclusion) were important so that people could leave their homes – but they are not enough. Make it clear that it is the duty of everyone in society to welcome people with disabilities and make them feel like they belong.

Help the child understand that people with intellectual disabilities, for example, have their own time and that we have a privileged place, because the world is completely adapted to us. We can make them think that we don’t even need to have disabilities to feel inadequate: if you are a person who is around 2m tall, buying a bed or traveling by plane can be very challenging.

Likewise, people with disabilities face a variety of daily challenges. What prevents people with disabilities (PWDs) from performing certain tasks is the lack of preparation on the part of society, public services and our infrastructure. The moment we can be truly inclusive in the social sphere, differences will disappear.

Avoid politically incorrect terms

We may already be very familiar with some expressions that, for us, don’t cause any problems. Many of them, we don’t even know the origin or real meaning.

Let’s be honest: we are used to using disabilities as pejorative terms to attack others. However, there is no denying that for some people, these expressions cause tremendous discomfort. After all, if you were an amputee, you wouldn’t like hearing someone say that “a cripple’s excuse is a crutch”, would you?!

Knowing this, what is the purpose of continuing to use such expressions?! The truth is that we are too lazy to do the opposite, because it requires energy. When it comes to raising children, it is essential that we make this effort to adapt our language to the new times. And it is not worth using the expression that “in my time” or “everyone survived”, because our children will not live in “our time” but in their time, where the world and customs are different. Remember biology classes, where the best adapted are the ones who survive? Well then.

Be anti-ableist

To have a frank conversation, it is important that you first know that ableism is any and all prejudice against people with disabilities. As a society, we have not been taught to understand that there are visible and invisible disabilities. And when we talk about invisible disabilities, we are not just talking about deafness or an amputated leg hidden by pants.

Invisible disabilities are those that each of us, normalized people, have. The so-called “normal” people also have their difficulties and limitations of various kinds. Everything that I don’t know how to do and can’t learn is a disability of mine. But because this disability is not obvious, no one assumes that I am incompetent to do something until I say so (or it is actually confirmed).

With people with disabilities, the opposite often happens. We judge them as incompetent to do something without first knowing if they really are. Questioning a person’s competence or assuming their incompetence, before actually checking their ability, is ableism.

And it’s okay if you didn’t know this, the important thing is to show the child how wrong this behavior is, so that he or she can understand the complexity of each individual. Some can do some things, others can’t. And that’s okay. Understanding diversity can even help the child deal with their own expectations about life and their ideals of perfection. During the process of encouraging children to live with differences, try to always make it clear that no one, absolutely no one in this world is perfect.

Be kind and authentic

Today, with the vast knowledge available on the internet, fortunately we are no longer at the mercy of the person themselves to understand and learn more. However, asking questions is not a sin. The secret is to ask politely. People with disabilities still feel, in one way or another, isolated from society. Therefore, curiosity cannot be seen as something bad, since it reveals a genuine interest in the other person. Many people with disabilities are willing to talk about their condition and clarify facts so that people can better understand them and their lives. Knowledge brings people closer together. Therefore, we need to guide children on how to ask polite questions. “Why are your feet ugly?” – is an offensive phrase that expresses a value judgment (personal opinion regarding the appearance of your feet). Asking: “Why are your feet like that?” is a perfectly genuine question. Allow the child to express themselves.

Make positive comments

Talking about the positive characteristics of people with disabilities helps to broaden the understanding that that person has value, beyond their atypical characteristics. When you see an atypical person on television, for example, instead of saying “wow, so-and-so never recovered from that”, or “poor so-and-so…” try to move away from the commonplace: “so-and-so has really nice hair”, “look how well he sings” – these are observations that help to take the focus away from the different and get closer to the standard.

Praise character, not physical characteristics

Finally, (and this is the hardest part for parents) avoid praising only your child’s physical characteristics and praise their attitudes and character. When a child understands that their value goes beyond their appearance, they begin to understand that what matters in the world is not necessarily linked to a current norm, but rather to their behavior.

Encouraging children to live with differences is not easy and will not happen very quickly, after all, there is no point in talking about inclusion if we do not live it in practice.

So, never miss an opportunity to talk, invite someone to a party or interact with someone with a disability. Our children look to us for example and will not feel encouraged to have friendships with diverse people if they do not have this example at home.